This list was inspired by my first few weeks working at a company where I am literally the only female in my building, and I believe the total number of females in the company is something like 5*, out of some 40ish employees**.
*Take that, Rand Paul. I defy your statistics with my one singular data point. Sort of like how climate change skeptics are almost certainly using the current winter.... but I digress...
**Who, as far as I can tell, share about 8 names total among the male portion. Yelling "Ryan" would easily summon half the company.
Bolstered by a year or so of reading feminist articles via ESWN (Earth Science Women's Network, HIGHLY recommend), I was prepared for belittling, attack, rejection, stereotypes. What I wasn't prepared for .... was loneliness.
I realized quickly that I had taken for granted how easy it was to make friends in a new academic setting, where there was almost certainly a cohort of similar aged companions all new in the same way you were, with veteran students ready to welcome new companions, and, crucially, at least one other female. Now I faced the double whammy of "welcome to the workforce" and "welcome to minorityhood".
But, goldurnit, I think there's plenty of articles bemoaning what it is to be a woman in science. Instead, I offer something different - a practical guide, based on nothing else than my expert opinion on all of five weeks in the workforce, for welcoming the first woman (or any woman!) to your company or place of work. So, without further ado, I present:
5 Ways to Welcome a Woman
1. Talk
2. Ask
3. Inform
4. Include
5. Swear
This is probably the most basic thing ever, and good policy for welcoming ANY new person - talk to them! Something as simple as saying hi in the hallway, or asking them about the last place they lived/worked, etc., can do a world of good for helping that woman feel welcome. I promise I will not jump down your throat with a feminist diatribe the second you open your mouth. I am scared, I am new to this job and this city*, I just want a conversation. I know I didn't really feel like I could be settled at my current job until I'd had around three longer than three-minute conversations at my work**. Conversations make us all human, rather than scary faceless others.
*sort of...
**One of which involved a lively discussion on various creative methods of killings spiders, the sizes of which seemed to increase in roughly the same manner as "the fish that got away".
Ask
Probably more a corollary of Talk, but....ask the new woman questions! Give her a chance to talk about herself, and give yourself a chance to know her. Obviously, innocuous questions like "what do you do when you're not doing geophysics?" are probably better than "so, cutie-pie, wanna go downtown tonight and analyze MY data?"....
Also, in the first month or so, questions like "Do you know where x is in the building" or "Do you know how to use x software" are good, as they give the new person a chance to either say "yes!" and feel really über confident, or "no" and get help without having to try to figure out just who to ask, and then suck up the courage to ask. Not that I'm incapable of asking, but.... with all the mental stress of being new AND outnumbered, one less hurdle to jump is a good thing! In my case, I really appreciated it when one of my coworkers stopped by when I was working late one night to make sure I knew how to deal with the alarm system... because I definitely a) did not know how to use it and b) would not have enjoyed accidentally setting it off!
Inform
These are getting a bit redundant...whatever, five is a nice number. ANYWAY, make sure your new woman knows the basics. Who to ask for help (who is IT guy, who is fixit guy, who is finance person, etc.), where to get stuff, how to do things. It's the little things that help... I think he felt rather awkward about it, but I was glad one of my coworkers was able to brave embarrassment enough to let me know I could ask him if he needed to supply any special bathroom stuff for the women's bathroom.... In case you're wondering, guys, we generally handle the "extra stuff" on our own*.... :)
*I'm still rather mystified by the 3+ bottles of lotion in the women's bathroom. Is THAT what he meant? Free hand lotion paid by the corporates? I actually can't stand wearing lotion during the day, but now the temptation for abuse of supplies requisitions is definitely there...
Include
If you've got a running out-to-lunch day, invite her to join! A ritual after-work beer? Hand her one! These sorts of informal gatherings can be really important down the road for making connections, gaining insight in your field, and getting jobs, so if you care about women's success, include them in these too! I also like whiskey....
Swear
For the love, I will not shrivel up and blow away if you drop an F bomb in front of me. Really. You should have been a fly on the wall of my car when I was driving in Vancouver. I may not swear in front of humans on a regular basis, but that certainly doesn't mean I can't if I want to*. If you're directing something AT me..... that's debatable. But, seriously, I find it hilarious that guys (typically those my dad's age and older) get tied up in knots trying to guard their tongues around me.... just relax, and I'll be able to relax too when I slip up!
*The fact that I wrote out "F bomb" notwithstanding...
Apologies if this post verges on the saccharine cheerful, but I'll defend myself in the lamest way possible by stoutly declaring that it is way easier (at least for me) to write whining sarcasm than cheerful sarcasm. But if any way this helps some other woman feel welcome in her male-dominated office in the future, or, very much also importantly, it helps a guy feel like yes, he can do something other than be the big bad enemy of woman everywhere, my saccharine sacrifice will not have been in vain!*
*Including that last sentence. Wince.
