Office Update #√(π/17)

Because I believe in including ALL the numbers.

Public Service Announcement:

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Dear any owners of gravity meters who are planning on sending in data to my company, asking if their meter is working,

Please,  do not, by any means, tell me where your meter is located.  This will not at all aid me in determining if that weird signal you saw is real or a sign of busted meter-itis.  It will certainly not help me to avoid developing a whole erroneous theory to explain said signal involving heavy flooding in a European country.  And most certainly do NOT, when I present this whole theory to you, which is the best I could come up with given the data, and even though this theory necessitates the somewhat troubling appearance of 7 m of water a scant 12 hours after the onset of the beginning of rain to explain the magnitude of the gravity signal, do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, take this opportunity to explain that this theory makes absolutely no sense because your meter is not, in fact, somewhere in the European countryside, but is, in fact, ON A VOLCANO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PACIFIC OCEAN.  This information will in no way prevent me from tearing my hair out trying to figure out why I keep getting residual tide signals in the data, because this is in no way relevant to the fact that the meter is located ON A VOLCANO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PACIFIC OCEAN.

In conclusion, please, I beg of you, do your utmost to send me chasing after completely incorrect theories for about a month by withholding this one piece of completely non-critical, trivial information.

Yours sincerely,

The recently bald geophysicist