Statement of Purpose

The book of Face now has this wonderful feature where it will throw up your old posts from years past.  I was apparently somewhat loopy in December of 2010, that day features a lip-dub I made of Aretha Franklin's "Think" in which I yell at my physics textbook, and the following "draft" I wrote of my statement of purpose for applying to grad school for my master's.  Enjoy.

I tried writing an essay, I really did....

You should give me money because I are really smart. I works in a lab and sorts rocks and stuff so people can tell how volcanoes exploded. And sometimes I shake them for hours in big sieves. Not the volcanoes, the rocks. And last summer I got really wet and muddy and dug lots of holes so people could listen to really long earthquakes. And I saw lots of slugs and my boots didn’t dry off for three weeks, so I think I definitely deserve some sort of compensation for that, don’t you think? I think so. Anyway, I also do lots of stuff with the geology club, like teaching middle schoolers and stuff, and I want to use geology to help people and stuff. You know, like hazards and stuff. I want to run around on volcanoes and put gravity meters on them, and then tell people when to run away. I might even get the government to pay me for it if I work for the USGS. Otherwise I’ll have to sneak out with the gravity meters at night and be that crazy lady in the woods. But see, people never listen to the crazy lady in the woods, so I probably should get a graduate degree and a job so people will listen to me. Oh and history is really cool. I like history too. Because you can look at history and tell how people were stupid in the past and figure out how to try to keep them from being quite as stupid in the future, but then future people will look back on us and think we were really stupid, so it’s probably a moot point anyway. But it’s still fun to learn about, because it’s like story time, and if you just do science and don’t factor in human stupidity nothing works very well. So you have to have both, you know? You have to study old rocks AND old people. Works better that way. So, see, I’m studying both those things, and if I get really good at it and you give me money I’ll study more, and then maybe I can help keep at least some people from killing themselves through stupidity. Although there are always those few that Darwin gets, but, you know, that’s life! You go along, and one day.....poof! Poof, I say! So, in conclusion, you should give me money. A few thousand would be nice. Just a thought.